Well, cleaned the house and cleaned everything on Connor's shelf. I always feel somewhat accomplished when I get his things all spic-and-span. I hate to see them collect dust. I suppose it is just one of those things that happens. I held his little urn today and thought about him a lot. He would be 14 months old right now. I wonder what he would have looked like and how he would be progressing. But, for once, the thought doesn't totally depress me. Yes, it makes me sad that I will never know these things for sure but I am grateful for the time I spent with my son. I am also grateful for my wonderful imagination that breathes life into the dreams that were shattered when Connor died. I do miss him so much. You can not understand the empty spot this has left in my soul. But, I am learning to live with this part of my life. Not just going through the motions either. Actually living. It's nice to finally be able to connect with other human beings again and I am glad that I am finally making more friends. I miss my baby terribly. I hope that he knows how much I love him and is keeping an eye on me. I don't see how I would have made it if he wasn't. :) Anyway, very random post.
Goodnight!
Goodnight!