Well, sometimes it doesn't feel like it, but it does get better as time goes on. Sometimes you feel like life is marching right along without you. You're not alone. But one day, you realize that life wasn't leaving you behind. You just took a detour. Everyone's detour takes a different amount of time, energy, fake smiles and tears (or lack thereof). Slowly, it all comes together again and you feel less left out and alienated by life. You find joy that you weren't sure existed anymore. Now, you are always going to miss your baby but just like your other relationships, the relationship with your child and their memory evolves and becomes a little less raw. For me there were panic attacks and I would feel like I couldn't breathe. There are lots less of those now... I mean yes, I still have an occasional panic attack or breakdown but it no longer feels like my entire life is run by them. I would not call the grief journey a beautiful journey in any sense of the word but there are beautiful things that accompany that grief. When you feel like it's darker than it's ever been, look around. There is something beautiful to find there... acceptance, a new lesson, something that you'd never taken the time to really look at... sometimes the beautiful things will catch you completely off guard and shock you. But, they're there. Just remember that this journey is one that is lonely at times, scary and painful but take time for yourself and to sort out some of what you're feeling or you will never be able to move past each hurdle. Don't forget that it's okay to ask for help and it's okay to cry and scream and be "dramatic" (as I've been told before). Sometimes you just have to get away from everyone and go somewhere that means something to you or just lock yourself in your bedroom and let it all out. This is healthy (contrary to popular belief) and you do not always have to be so strong! <3 Have a safe and peaceful holiday weekend everyone