Three years ago today, we spent our first night in the hospital. We had no idea that you would arrive tomorrow. I always go back to that place around your birthday. I can remember what it felt like to see you for the first time. I remember being happy but terrified. I can remember holding your tiny hand and seeing the doctors working on you. Everything from the time we left the OR to the last time I held you is a blur. But I do remember holding you and thinking how perfect you were. I truly honestly just want you here. I just miss you. There is nothing else to say but I miss you more than I thought it was possible to miss someone and love you more than that. I imagine you would have been small and quiet like your mom. Maybe a little rambunctious like your daddy. We all miss you. It doesn't feel like it's been three years and at the same time it feels like a lifetime has passed. Happy 3rd birthday. I wish I had gotten to snuggle you this morning and let you eat cake for breakfast. I'm always going to miss out on this stuff and it sucks. I love you baby boy!