I got Connor's autopsy results yesterday... as well as my CMV results. Well, on the note of the autopsy, my poor baby never stood a chance against this awful disease... but I feel like I can stop blaming myself now... so, a little closure is good. On my CMV test results... I was positive... meaning that I will give it to the next baby we concieve if the medicines don't work... and there aren't great odds for that. Feeling a little more hopeful about life today... and a little less hopeful at the same time. Weird, huh? Point is that I'm done being angry at other people and I'm going to try to move on... just a little.... because I still fell angry about this virus and what it did to my sweet baby boy. I keep thinking "if there's a God, why would he do that to a sweet innocent baby like Connor". So... now I'm battling with my beliefs as well... maybe one day things will get easier.