I'm having a hard time here lately. I've been having a lot of dreams about Connor, which I LOVE.... until I wake up. Then it feels like the rest of the day is just pointless. My arms ache to hold him. All I want is to hold him again and kiss his little head one more time. I wish I could have another chance to just touch him. One more chance to tell him I love him. I look at his pictures and feel like I am just breaking inside. I have this beautiful baby boy and I'll never see him again. I'll never have a chance to tell him everything I wanted for him. I just miss him so much and it seems like every time I come to terms with one broken hope or dream, another comes along. I miss my baby. I want to hold him.