Wow... didn't realize I hadn't written in so long. :) Some mornings it's really hard to wake up... especially when I have a dream about you... a good dream. I dreamed that I got to hold you and that things didn't go the way they really did... that you got to come home from the hospital. It was a wonderful dream. It made it so hard to get up and get moving after that though... I always wake up and for a moment everything is okay... and then I realize that I was sleeping and reality sets in... I realize that I will never be able to hold you and you will never come home from the hospital... I'll never hear you cry or get to give you your first bath... I've had a really hard week without you.... your due date was a week from tomorrow... it seems so unfair that I didn't even get this time with you. Someone was telling me the other day that they had a little boy at 27 1/2 weeks.... and he pulled through... and all I could do was think about how unfair it is. Everyone around us is having babies... worst of all, they're all boys... I'm still angry... I have my good days but you're always with me sweet boy. I talk about you every chance I get. Some people don't understand our loss and aren't compassionate at all... but believe me, I'll fight for you sweet boy. I won't let anyone tell me it's not that bad... and I won't let anyone say that it shouldn't bother me because you never really lived. You did live. You lived in me. You lived for 14 hours on this planet and unfortunately your little body couldn't keep up with your strong will... I know you tried to stay with mommy and I'll make sure we help people know about your CMV. No one should have to go through what you did... or what mommy and daddy did. I love you so much and I think of you everyday.