So, I have made a huge achievement in my healing journey. While most people won't understand this, I know the people who have lost a child will. Tonight was the first time I have held a baby since my Connor. I have held my stepdaughter but she was 18 months old already when we lost Connor. Not necessarily a "tiny" baby anymore. She was working on potty training by that point! I haven't had a tiny body in my arms in almost two years. I was scared to hold someone else's child... like it would... I don't even know... but it seemed so wrong. But honestly, it felt great. I'm so glad I made myself do it. It's one of those things that you never think would be a big deal... I got to spend the evening with two great kiddos who reminded me to look at the simple things. I learned about some new cartoons (I'm clearly out of the loop) and how to play some new games (beyblades, anyone?). It was refreshing. Sometimes it's nice to get a new perspective. Well, I still miss my baby like crazy but it isn't as raw as it used to be (most days). Well, this is an end to a good night. Hello bed. Hopefully you'll treat me well tonight. :)