It's hard to believe that it is already August! It seems like this summer just flew right by. I still think about all the things we should have been doing with Connor this year. We should have been taking him swimming for the first time this summer. I wonder what it would be like. I still wonder how things would be. Some days it still feels unbearable and I have a hard time motivating myself to keep going in the real world. :) And most days, although I think about him, it isn't as hard as it used to be. I think of him fondly and finally have some happy feelings. I love to think about him and keep him fresh in my mind and try not to dwell on the sad parts of our time together. I wonder if I'll always feel the pain so much and if it will always be so raw when I remember the hard parts. I'm guessing yes.... I don't see how that feeling could get any better. But, when I think about how far I and my family have come in the last year, it amazes me. Many opportunities have come to us and we've met a lot of really wonderful people. We've gone through everything together and never strayed from one another. When you start out, you think "How can I live through this?". Then one day you realize that you did live through it. Not only did you live through it but you've grown as a person and as a family. No, I am not glad that this happened, but I am grateful that it didn't tear us apart. We grew closer and that's a miracle. Some families don't make it through the grief together, much less grow stronger. We were lucky, determined and strong. We're still learning and still struggling but we've made it this far. I believe in us.