Some days you just don't know how to put your feelings on paper. I'm so frustrated. I just miss my baby so much. I can't stand having dreams about him just to wake up and realize that I won't ever get that time with him. Those first few blissful moments right after I wake up are the worst. You go from happy to your world crashing down (again) in about 5 seconds. Dreams might help some people but they just make me more sad. Someone asked me what it was like... to lose a child. Well, all I could say is that it's like losing a part of yourself. When your child dies, you feel like part of you died with them. It's like losing everything that ever mattered. Some people might say that's a little dramatic but that's how it was for me. I believe I'll feel the same earth shattering pain if I ever lost another as well. Each child is a gift and a wonderful miracle on their own. No matter how many I have, I'll love them all that much.